Yesterday I thought I was beginning my second-to-last class before graduation (sooooo close!) and was having a really hard time mentally bracing myself. I've been in no-holds-barred burnout for the last year. The full gamut: depression, apathy, even entertaining suicidal thoughts occasionally. I've just been so damn tired, and I passionately hate the school I'm attending.
But when I went to log in for class --since the campus is in AZ and I'm here in IN-- I saw that my next class in fact started on the 26th! So I have two weeks where I don't have to worry about school and dealing with stupid people. I can focus on things that I actually care about for the first time in way too long. My spare time --where I can do something for myself, or relax, or just sit down-- has been relegated to Sunday evenings after around 11pm or so, for the last three years.
I don't think I need to tell you how that has affected me both physically and emotionally.
So it's been amazing just to have that damn monkey off my back for two weeks. I'm getting important things accomplished that matter to me, and I don't feel like I'm just standing still getting eroded by stress and overwhelm.
It feels so good. I know it's fleeting, and by the time class starts again, two weeks will have felt like the blink of an eye. But right now, it just feels so damn good.
So expect to see a little more from me here, and comments on blogs as I'm out and about being useful and productive for the first time since enrolling.
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